Hello Again

Even then I slept on the couch
When I tried to scrub clean
Off my lips what I was feeling
It scared me
But did it scar me?
Your tender outline
It was a passing fling
Yet you remain intimate
Now time’s changing
And your face shows feelings
Of a second chance at
Another mistake

Or maybe I’m dreaming
Of a tacit discovery
You couldn’t help but decline
I am not trust worthy
I want that raw rush of climax
And your candid approval
Since my thoughts have been
Out of my control
Those whispered cries
In your calls as of recent nights
Have caused me to
Begin to speculate

It’s frightening how truly honest
I can be with you

It's shameful, really

you know how to make me feel
devoid of local heartbeat
your thoughts on distance, difference
and mine ashamed
eager for comfortable silence
and a warm body tether to
the linger of a scented affair
we weep for the gone too quickly

eager in my efforts
to mold in her lost shape
frankness like the weather
controlled by another
what I have lost?
in this sordid tryst
My blank expression explains
what we could not say so plain

I doubt it's your intent
you're erratic though not cruel
yet you know how to make me feel
second rate

I am damaged goods at best.

Tried

I want to swallow my lungs
and taste the life inside me
I want to breathe in ash
so I may be as charred as I appear
I want to be destroyed
so I might be recreated

We both know it's true

I have what she wants
but I hate her
because it's she he dreams of at night

he tries to push me
through the square
but my heart just won't fit right

so it's a constant struggle
brushing up against that pain
but why do I bother to fight?

am I way off key?
no, my pitch is dead on
and you're flat fucking wrong
to give to me what you want her
to take home.

It's not really you

it's the same photograph
from my favorite album
of that warm june coastal line
it's the same record
from that time ago
when we walked in puddles
it's that deplorable nature
of irony
gets me every time

it's when you speak
you can really hear it
so I shall listen close

Rainbows

what color will my mouth be
after kissing the life of that mouth?

Dormant

and when I lose faith
in a well fated sky
I inhale my tears
and breathe through my eyes
and exhale my dreams
and gasp for my soul
that doesn't seem to exist anymore