(untitled)*

I was quickly stopped by that shining beast
flashed before me was eternity
the bells chimed for the sake of familiarity
and my mind was consumed by the afternoon moon

I could not rationalize it.
my mind entombed by grey and blue
I thought of those to come before me
and those who would follow soon
does it only feel like things are getting better
when what came before was unforeseen?

the heartbeat is only counting down to what comes next
so by speeding it up or slowing it down
is it possible to find the shortest path to happiness?

I was not sure.
So just this once, I ran away from death

Wrong Number*

*between January and May of this year I wrote but never published numerous poems for one reason or another, but I am going to type them up now; the asterisk will identify them to you in the future//

and how it hurts
much like the loss of a loved one
who's still there.
like a heart in plastic casing
soft enough to feel it's warmth
but still never really yours
and so it rips back to it's rightful owner
how unfair
for even though I pull and tear
I am never sharp enough to break right through

and so you'll leave
for some better place somewhere
and I'll be left alone to bear
with a tiny piece to small to claim as true

but I'll remember
those tiny works that cold december
that made me wonder if you wanted this all too.
I dream of talking until midnight
and your eyes blinded by the sunlight
and those flowers which were promised but never grew

I suppose your happiness will just have to do.

I don't see the salvation in daylight

Oh the blanketed secrets
of which to take note.
Oh the ferocious accusations
and lack of blatant fault.

Woe is the lack of sincerity
to the broken then mended heart
Woe is the truest epitome
of my attempts staking claims in the dark.

IS it you or I or us who is falling apart?

in a fit of trifle

as if a tea bag over steeped
our founding love now bittersweet
a plastic castle, a cardboard tomb
incarcerated in a too large room
plenty space to fill with words
one doesn't mean but says in purge
I'll kiss you - "I miss you," death, to her.
too many thoughts just overheard

this is not what I signed up for.

I read what you write
and I know how speak of them-
those girls that have all come before
and I can't help but blame them
for this jaded and angered
man I vehemently deplore

you're frustratingly selfish
deliberately insolent
and always inform me you're bored
these are things I choose to ignore

for I know in between
lies the heart of a kind
someone I cherish and adore.

it's just why does that king
at the sound of a ring
fall to disheveled pieces on the floor?

where is the truth is your allure?

do not ask, for you already know

dear a
a girl I loathe
a topic I fear to broach

but if your heart is in my direction
and your will is as clear as I see
I do swear

I will slit your throat
and watch you bleed

they're exes for a reason, write?

I'm not sure I like what I cause you to write
apparently your muse is better versed
in the art of deceitful pretension.

lost?

the occasional trash talking
the metaphorical street walking
palpable distance in the larger sense
my hands shaking
a bitter awakening
of loss of time worse spent
I breathe in greater meaning
as you breathe out gentle screaming
oh, it's a wonder the places I'll go

a party for everyone else.

out of nowhere a twist and turn
a titl-a-whirl stuck in reverse
but I shaped and curved and fell into place
and still it was too little too late
I ran right into that wide, closed gate
and now I'm left alone in the yard
there is no one to catch me when I fall

death

do you remember when of this we first spoke?
that brisk autumn night that feels so long ago?
you told me things will always get better.
so why don't those words work anymore?